Day 4 in the big Crisis House

Today was checkout day from the hotel - yay. An ill-advised kebab from the night before meant that I was thankfully in a position to avoid breakfast at the hotel. I packed, checked out, and stuggled up Pentonville Road with my rucksack. Having an hour to kill I trated myself to a fabulous all-you-can-eat chinese buffet and then went to the shelter for my shift.

Now there is a lady called Amanda who is also trained on office managing and I have been promised that we will be taking it in turns. She has not appeared; I have checked the shift lists - there is no Amanda. I no longer believe in Amanda and have found myself in the office again.

The centre I am at is called Quiet - it does not live up to its name generally but is designed for the most vulnerable of guests - those who need a bigger vol/guest ratio and a lot of one on one help and advice. This means that I answer the phone with a loud "Quiet".

Today was actually relatively quiet. In terms of logistics if we haven't got it it's because the warehouse has run out and we aint getting it. The next 2 days, will however, be very busy in terms of services. Those that haven't been able to access advice, dentistry, podiatry, new clothes etc. begin to get anxious as time starts to run out but this is counter balanced by the fact that the volunteers are well settled and confident about what they are doing.

As things were relatively quiet though I have been landed with the most important job of all - finding a local pub which will take in 50 volunteers after closing time for a lock-in. This is a huge responsibility and I have been unsuccessful. If Amanda turns up it will be her job.

Got home at 1am to find that eldest daughter had kindly left out some hula hoops, some cookies and 3 days worth of washing up!

I am not allowed to take pictures of the centre so please enjoy a representation of the chinese meal that I had bearing in mind that this is not a true likeness but for illustration purposes only

oh good grief - that came out very big

Crisis Boxing Day

Last night I had a wonderful surprise - a long phonecall from Sara, my darling sis who is miles and miles away in Canada. That really made my Christmas - cheers Saj.

Slept really late this morning - I think it's all catching up with me a bit. The Hotel breakfast is shockingly bad - I mean seriously how can you burn tinned tomatoes?

I spent a couple of hours checking out the sales but remembered just in time that I'm skinted and then started my shift at the shelter. One of the volunteers who just started today came with a check for two grand that her company had given her after she told them what she was doing and later in the afternoon a man drove up in a big car and handed a large box to the volunteers at the gate. When opened it was found to contain 50 massive cigars. A volunteer who seemingly knows about these things reckons that each cigar was worth at least £25. You should have seen the smoking courtyard full of guests puffing away on huge cigars.

I am told that I might be able to get out of the office tomorrow and go out onto the floor which will be brilliant as the only guests I've really spoken to so far are the two that come and get their meds from me.

As I'm not allowed to take any photos of the Centre or the guests please make do with these lovely pictures of the windows of Fortnum and Masons which, thankfullybearing in mind the skinted situation, was closed. I think they are something to do with The Ice Queen - enjoy

christmas day part 2

... now where was I - oh yes - There I was minding my own business when there was a knock the hotel door - Bill had brought the girls and Aiden to see me - Aiden shot me with his new sonic screwdriver

and The Princess mostly did this

while the girls looked gorgeous like this

Bless them - they had brought me a food parcel of ham sandwiches, mince pies and choccies. We had a quick coffee together and then they dropped me off for my shift.

The life of an admin officer is never without adventure and today was no exception. The church next door had hosted a christmas lunch earlier in the day and had ommitted to check that all their guests had left. So it was that a person of no fixed abode found himself trapped in the courtyard of said church. The Fire Brigade had to be called at great public expense, the vicar being inexplicably unobtainable, to rescue him. I found myself dealing with an office full of Firemen which was great as men in uniform had figured quite heavily on my letter to Santa - don't let anyone tell you that he doesn't exist.

Just as I thought things could not get more exciting in walked the legend that is Bill Oddie with his family to put on a show for the guests. They sang and played for an hour or so and went down a storm. I am still not allowed to take any photos of the centre so instead offer this picture of the ex-goodie and famous bird botherer himself for your general edification.

Christmas with Crisis

Day One

Every alternate year I get to spend Christmas at a homeless Shelter. This of course a great sacrifice as everyone knows how mch I love this time of year - 'Tis the season to be Grinchy after all.

The last time I did this I stayed in a Hostel and vowed never again. This year I was able to secure a room at the Kings Cross Travelodge in their sale - what luxury! Checking in on the 23rd I was soon able to find my room by going down this corridor

and then this one

and then this

Inside what luxuries await - a teeny tiny bedroom and a dollshouse bathroom - not bad for £19 per night inc breakfast

Day 2

Today is my first proper day of volunteering and I'm not sure what to expect at all. On arrival we are herded into a breifing where our shift leader wishes us all a merry christmas and lets us know that if we're not prepared to do whatever we're asked for we might as well all piss off home - I think it's been a stressful day already!

Before we are allocated our jobs for the shift we are asked if anyone has office experience - I raise my hand as do a handful of others and we are whisked away for a round of Admin Idol. I am eventually crowned the winner by dint of being the one who is doing the most shifts. The rest of my 3pm to 11.30pm stint rushes by in a whirlwind of phone calls and logistical nightmares all of which I am expected to sort out myself - my only training being a handful of notes that the girl on the shift before left behind before she left me - a pitying look in her eyes. I have typed up referral notes dictated by a psychtriast whilst simultaneous sorting out the mystery of the missing teaspoons, navigating volunteers to the centre by phone after their prat navs have failed and dispensing medication to guests - it has been a ball!

I'm not allowed to take photos of the Centre, Guests or Volunteers for obvious reasons so please amuse yourselves with the view from my room and the surrounding area.

Day 3

Yay - it's Christmas and the hotel have marked the occassion by losing my breakfast booking and playing Noddy Holder's Top 100 Christmas Tunes on the telly and Carols to Travel in Lifts By on the speakers. This is a bit much for someone who likes nothing stronger than John Humphries and the rest of the Radio 4 Today team in the morning and so I am grumpy - Stef Grumpy on Christmas Morning - surely not!

I am cheered up, however, with a phone call from the girls. Bill woke them all up early to open their stockings, which in the case of Aiden, contained toblerone and a misguided recorder, and then went back to bed. The girls told me that the plan was to leave it half an hour and then despatch the by now hypertobleroned Aiden and his recorder into Bill's room to return the favour.